Beauty from the Storm

With my hubby out of town this week I have been spending lots of time at the rents' house...tonight as I was rushing to get over there to beat a storm that was on its way, I had one of those moments where God just reminded me who He is.  This was kind of an unusual storm because one half of the sky was sunny and blue while the other half was very dark which as a result produced a rainbow!

Looking at that rainbow, I just thought how cool it is that God can allow the sky to be so bright and sunny and yet dark and rainy at the same time.  He can make beauty from a storm that can be loud and  severe.  

I started thinking about the summer Brian and I are going to embark on.  We get to go to a few summer camps, I have begun a new nanny job, and we will hopefully continue to connect with our students throughout these next few months.  We have so many opportunities to be used by God, but then I was reminded how much I can get in the way of that.  I can be quite a STORM.  My emotions can be an ominous gloomy cloud, my emotions can strike like lightning and my anger can be a loud roaring like thunder.  I leave a mess behind me as I swirl through the day.  BUT GOD is bigger than me and I NEED Him to be my guide and my stability and to hopefully make beauty through the mess of a person I am.  I have so many opportunities this summer for God to show me how to love more like him and I just pray that my storm of emotions and sin doesn't get in the way.  I want to serve and grow closer to my Savior this summer, so that when a stormy part of everyday life comes He can be my stable foundation.

"You make beautiful thingsYou make beautiful things out of the dustYou make beautiful thingsYou make beautiful things out of us"- Gungor

"Do not quench the Spirit"

Ever since Easter, our pastor has been preaching about the Holy Spirit and His purpose after Jesus ascended to Heaven.  Through this series, I feel God has been showing and teaching me a lot about His  Spirit and how he works in my life.  I like to control a lot of things and have things go my way.  I want to see results of certain things and see work come to completion.  I worked as a coffee bar/hostess at a restaurant for a short period recently and I loved being able to see my drinks completed right away and see my own work done.

I'm realizing that although God can do big things, He mainly works through little things and we can't always see the end result right away.  And it is not anything that I can do.  I can't make someone else's heart change or make them do something.

The biggest thing that has stuck with me while learning more about the Holy Spirit is that God works through him to change people and only the Holy Spirit living inside someone can convict, soften and change someone's heart.  There are many of our students that I want to see God change their lives and be a person that impacts that but I now realize that may not happen while we know them.  Our ministry could just be one little stepping stone in their journey to God.

Another thing that we just talked about last night at our life group with church was "not quenching the Spirit".  This means to not suppress or ignore what the Spirit might be telling you.  First of all, I was encouraged because our pastor said you can't quench something that isn't alive and working, so obviously if you are trying to quench the Spirit that means it is living inside you.  This just reminds me that even when I just want to ignore what I know is the most God honoring way to handle something, He still is living and changing me and will not let go of me.  I do this all the time...if I'm mad about something I just want to stay mad and not allow the Holy Spirit to change my perspective, but that is not how I truly want to live.  My prayer is that God would change this in me.  That He would take this control I want to feel, so that I can live by His Spirit which will open my eyes to how God desires for me to live.

I want to just be His tool, even if that means that one student doesn't make a decision for Christ a week, a month, or a year from now.  I can trust and know that His Spirit will never stop working and moving in my own heart and the hearts of others.