Sin affecting ministry

It's not a rare occurrence for Brian and I to have a tiff before our many ministry events.  I see this as Satan trying to make our ministry less effective and wanting to altogether stop it from happening.  If there isn't an issue between the two of us then you can bet one of us is allowing our own sin to affect ministry opportunities.  Well, this past weekend, that very clearly happened to me.  I allowed my sin to influence how I was ministering to some students at an event.  We had around 50 of our own students with us and close to 50 others from different schools.  I began to feel anger towards some students and the way they were behaving; to me they seemed very disrespectful, and I was not a fan.  What some people may not know about me is that I am very passionate and opinionated and will let people know what I am feeling if I see the need.  So, I decided that I needed to let these students know exactly what they were doing wrong.  Yes, they may have been wrong in their actions and words, but they also may not know who Jesus is yet.  They may not see their actions as sin because their eyes have not been opened.  These big events are supposed to be times where we show Jesus to these students and for them to know we are not going to judge them but that we will show grace because we have been shown grace through Jesus.  Grace was the last thing on my mind that night...until we got on the bus to leave.  I could feel the weight of what I had just done.  I allowed my anger to cover up the real reason I was there.  I couldn't see the opportunity I had right in front of me, the opportunity to hang out with girls from Gretna and get to know others from different schools and to HAVE FUN!

  

I had finally seen an issue that I allowed to happen a lot.  And thankfully the next morning God affirmed my sin at church through a guest preacher.  He preached on John 4:35 "Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest." He challenged us to always "Think Evangelism"--to always be ready to show and to tell people about Jesus and what He did for us on the cross.  The fields are ready to be harvested, we just have to look up and see those people who are ready to hear about the Truth.  I want to always be anticipating the next time I can do that, but I often allow my sin to turn me away from that and wallow in myself.

I don't want to look back on this past weekend with regret, but with hope.  Hope that God will guide me in showing His grace and love to those who it seems hard to give it to.